You’re Not “Too Sensitive” – You Just Need Better Boundaries (And Your Nervous System Will Thank You For It)

You’re Not “Too Sensitive” – You Just Need Better Boundaries (And Your Nervous System Will Thank You For It)

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why am I so exhausted when I haven’t even done that much?”

• “Why do I feel guilty saying no to things I really don’t want to do?”

• “Why do I need so much quiet time just to feel normal?”

…this one’s for you.

Because you’re not weak.

You’re not dramatic.

You’re not “too sensitive”.

Most likely?

Your nervous system is overloaded and you don’t have the boundaries in place to protect it.

What Boundaries Have To Do With Your Nervous System

We usually think of boundaries as just saying no more often.

But they’re really about this:

How much your brain and body are taking in versus how much they can actually handle.

Every time you:

• say yes when you mean no

• answer messages at all hours

• squash your feelings to keep the peace

• take on other people’s problems as your own

…your nervous system gets a little jolt.

Over time, those jolts add up.

Your body slips into a constant low-level fight / flight / freeze / fawn mode. That’s when you might notice:

• tight chest or shoulders

• jaw clenching

• racing thoughts

• snappy reactions

• or on the flip side numb, checked-out, can’t be bothered with anything

Nothing’s “wrong” with you.

Your system is just tired of beingonall the time.

Boundaries are how we gently turn the volume down.

A Little Personal Honesty…

For a long time, I was the classic yes girl.

Yes, I can help.

Yes, I’ll come.

Yes, I’ll take that on.

Yes, I’m fine (even when I really, really wasn’t).

I’d lie awake going over conversations, worrying if I’d upset anyone, mentally preparing for the next thing.

On the outside? I looked like I was coping.

On the inside? My nervous system was waving a white flag.

I thought feeling wired, tense and overwhelmed was just my personality.

It wasn’t.

It was a sign I needed better boundaries with my time, my phone, my energy, even my own thoughts.

5 Signs Your Boundaries Might Be Too Soft

See if any of these feel like you:

1. You feel resentful… but still say yes.

   You agree to things, then feel drained or irritated afterwards.

2. Your phone gets your attention before your own body does.

   You check messages before you’ve even properly woken up.

3. You feel responsible for everyone’s emotions.

   If someone is upset, you feel like you have to fix it.

4. You rarely have time just for you.

   Your day is full of doing, helping, replying, organising… but not much receiving.

5. You crash in the evenings.

   Tired, done, scrolling on the sofa with nothing left to give.

If you recognise yourself here, nothing’s “wrong”.

It just means your nervous system is begging for some gentle lines in the sand.

Gentle Boundaries You Can Actually Start Using

You don’t have to overhaul your whole life.

Start with small, kind shifts ones you can keep.

1. Give Your Phone Office Hours

Decide when you’re “available” and when you’re not.

• No messages before a certain time in the morning.

• Put your phone in another room for the first 15–30 minutes of your day.

• Pick one or two times a day to reply to WhatsApps instead of constantly being on call.

Your nervous system loves knowing there’s a start and an end to stimulation.

2. Practice the “Soft No”

You don’t need a huge explanation.

You’re allowed to protect your energy.

Try phrases like:

• “I’d love to, but I don’t have the capacity right now.”

• “I can’t make that, but thank you for thinking of me.”

• “That doesn’t work for me this week.”

The first few times might feel uncomfortable.

That’s normal. You’re building a new muscle.

3. Set an Emotional Boundary with Other People’s Stuff

You can care without carrying.

When someone shares something heavy, remind yourself:

“This is important, but it’s not mine to fix.

Support where you can, then consciously put the “bag” down.

A quick way to do this is to place your hands on your heart and imagine handing the problem back to them with love.

4. Bookend Your Day

Give your nervous system a clear “we’re done now” signal.

At the end of the day, try:

• a hot shower

• a few minutes of stretching

• journalling out any lingering thoughts

• or simply placing your hands on your chest and belly and taking 5 slow breaths

This doesn’t have to take more than 5–10 minutes, but it tells your body:we’re safe to rest now.

5. Create a “No Guilt” Rest Rule

Choose one small, non-negotiable rest practice that you’re allowed to do without explaining or justifying.

It might be:

• 10 minutes with a book

• a quiet cup of tea

• a short walk alone

• lying under a blanket doing absolutely nothing

Put it in your diary like any other appointment.

You are not stealing time you’re refuelling.

Where Reiki & Calm Spaces Fit In

You can absolutely start setting boundaries on your own.

But sometimes your system needs a bigger reset first a proper exhale before you can even think straight.

That’s why I love practices like:

• Reiki – helping your nervous system shift out of “fight or flight” and into rest.

• Indian Head Massage – releasing built-up tension in the scalp, neck and shoulders.

• HayLowe's Calm corner – an hour where no one needs anything from you, and you’re held in a quiet, soothing space.

They’re not magic wands, but they do make it so much easier to start saying:

“My peace matters too.”

A Little Boundary Reflection for You

If you’d like to start gently, here are a few journal prompts:

• Where in my life do I feel most drained right now?

• What am I saying yes to that I don’t truly have space for?

• If I trusted my needs mattered, what would I change first?

• What’s one boundary I could experiment with this week?

You don’t have to get this perfect.

Every small “no” to what drains you is a “yes” to the woman you’re becoming.

You are not too much.

You’re not broken.

You’re simply ready to protect your energy in a new way and your nervous system will thank you for it.

If you’d like some support with this, my 1:1 treatments and Calm Corner evenings are all designed to help women like you feel calmer, clearer and more grounded in themselves.

But even if you just take one thing from this blog, let it be this:

You are allowed to take up space in your own life.

Love

Hayley x